| 1 | Both candidates hear voters complaining about these things all the time. And since neither of them is a fool, both crack their cheeks trying to sound sympathetic. | |
| 2 | What a Card! Six guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table. | |
| 3 | Life is not a spelling bee, where no matter how many words you've gotten right, you're disqualified if you make one mistake. | |
| 4 | We didn't know that a good Hindu, and a member of our family, could sink so low. Gold Teeth beat her breast and pulled ineffectually at her long hair and begged to be forgiven. |